More of Calvin Philosophy

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
(Answer on a test paper) "I am not currently able to divulge this information, as it may compromise our agents in the field."
It's my dessert that's gross! Look, a thermos full of phlegm!
My favorite ritual is eating three bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and watching TV cartoons all Saturday morning.
A good compromise leaves everybody mad.
I hate being good (or trying to fake it).
But I like my idea better.
You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude.
Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
You know you'll hate something when they won't tell you what it is.
Existence is not only temporary, it's pointless!
Well, it puts a bad day in perspective.
I flunked a test today, but I don't mind.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
'The world isn't fair, Calvin.' 'I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?'
I can always get by on my good looks and charm!
Divine retribution, that's what!
Homework, I command thee, BE DONE!
My dreams are getting way too literal.
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
I've been good all day so far.
Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
There's no head rest on this chair! I should sue for whiplash!
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?
Ever notice how tense grownups get when they're recreating?
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
I love the culture of victimhood.
Nothing I do is my fault.
I like to verb words.
I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
Is it a right to remain ignorant?
Quit resisting, you!
I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas.
Obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity.
It is man's indomitable nature to scare himself silly for no good reason!