Garfield - the Infamous cartoon cat, created by Jim Davis

A little ego goes nowhere.

All I do is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. There must be more to a cat's life than that. But I hope not.

Anybody can exercise... But this kind of lethargy takes real discipline.

Avoid fruits and nuts: after all, you are what you eat.

Eat every meal as though it were your last.

Good times are ahead ! Or behind. Because they sure aren't here.

His I.Q. is so low you can't test it. You have to dig for it.

I am hungry. Therefore I am.

I'm not messy. I'm organizationally challenged !


If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen !


Bring me an order of everything, with a side order of everything else.


If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

Never leave your food dish under a bird cage.



Oh no! I overslept ! I'm late ! For my nap.


I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. It's a vicious circle... that took years to perfect!


I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with ... one quart of Mayonnaise !